Meet Cristiano Piquet, a somewhat squid-like Miami real estate mogul and racecar driver who nonetheless has a hell of a lot better life than you.

Here a TV crew records his escapades in Mexico racing in the Porsche GT3 Cup, which involves some extremely fast driving, fawning females and very cool cars.

We’re not saying he’s the next Prinz Marcus, but you’ll want to watch it with that zebra-striping, pal….